Generative Listening & Mutual Learning: Building Empathetic Relationships with Clear Boundaries
What new awareness or patterns are now emerging for you as a coach?
I notice that during my sessions I’m focusing a lot on the topic and investment, something that I’ve been trying to improve since my last audit call. I’m noticing that while that phase is improving, my explore and close are needing improvement. I also notice that I’m feeling less nervous and more confident in the way that I’m showing up. I was in the past judging and wondering why I wasn’t feeling as confident as I would like to. I’m also aware of how much I take on the suffering of others. I’m learning how to project emotions back to my clients and continue to feel curious. I also notice how I am very focused on in the “person-centered focus” (Stockton, J., 2020, p. 4) quadrant and want to explore the questions from the other quadrants so that I can cater to my client.
With these new understandings, how do you see yourself impacting and being impacted by the systems of which you are a part?
Since I’m part of this cohort, I can see how I unconsciously measure myself to where I think I’m supposed to be in the course. As a designer at work I can see how my tendencies are making it hard for me to provide constructive feedback or ask challenging questions to junior designers. I feel more empowered now to not absorb the challenges from the junior designers and freelancers, rather I can now project their emotions back to them while still showing them that I support them with curiosity and compassion.
To what would you like to devote more attention and focus?
I would like to devote more time and attention to several things after having my audit call. The first is to notice my outside voice.I really believe that if I can learn more about myself that it would give me the practice to provide that for my clients. This week I would like to focus more on the closing, something that was brought up to me in my audit call. I’ll like to re-read the closing requirements of the audit sheet and really reflect on the invite and partner questions. I’ll also like to increase my peer coaching sessions to three times a week and book more sessions throughout the Summer.
What successes are you celebrating?
I got all "e's" in the topic and investment this time on my audit call, though my closing needs a lot of work. I worked really hard on that phase, so I'm feeling grateful that it paid off and that it's really helping me feel a little more confident in coaching sessions.
What's next?
Review the questions in Julie Stockton’s Coaching Framework for Behaviour and Change: In Pursuit of Reflective Practice to learn the different types of questions to ask for each quadrant. And to continue to focus on my topic and investment and closing as per my audit call feedback.
Wynne
Stockton, J. (2020, 2nd ed). Coaching Framework for Behaviour and Change: In Pursuit of Reflective Practice. Monograph Series 2. Vancouver: Canadian Centre for Positive Change.