December 12, 2016
I had the idea in the back of my mind; somehow through art making that there are these benchmarks of what the next step should look like. So, somehow I've been functioning on that; that if I sold a piece of artwork that if I got into a number of shows that it would mean that I'm doing this right. So, I've been sub-consciously painting fast and doing things really "fast" thinking that the faster I make; the quicker I'd get to the next level. And all of this, is happening sub-consciously.
It's not until yesterday that I was able to watch myself through these beliefs and question them. And in questioning them; I realize that there's nothing to "get to"; it's a journey.
So, there's no need to rush anymore. I will paint now as a practice. Just like musicians play piano. I will paint when I do but with ease and love. Because to be honest, art making I know now will be a lifelong practice, so what's the rush? In asking what "matters" to me; people matter to me. Friendships. Relationships. Love and connection.
Love and grace,