San Francisco

July 12, 2019

One day, I’ll look back at this I think and be able to feel at awe at all the stories I created so far.

Cam and I are selling our household items and today a woman named Ashley came to pick up our air purifier. I saw her coming out of her awesome SUV and opened the trunk; out came a bouncing basketball. I saw her and I asked, “do you want me to plug this in to see if it works?”; and she replied, “no, I trust you!” and then went on to explain that she’s using the machine to help with her dandruff.

I felt inspired by Ashley. Made me think of how proud I feel about her and how much we have in common.

Somehow that got me thinking about how it’s actually really hard living in SF for me and somehow I did it. I’m still alive. I kept all my jobs; and maybe I don’t have that much swagger but I am awesome and I am exactly where I belong. I belong here because I am also really awesome like Ashley. I somehow; am creating the life that I wanted. 

I felt alive. I felt inspired by Ashely and moved. I did a great job here. Irregardless of how it works out at Adobe I made an incredible effort and I did a great amazing and awesome job here in the US. I’m going back now, to go home in one piece. I have great health and I will so much miss the awesome people here that like me, really kicked some ass here. I will miss it a lot in the US.

I feel, victorious; somehow which may sound a bit egotistical but, hell why the hell not.

I won. I won because I am leaving with great health; money in the bank, a new family and someone that loves me. And most of all, I’m leaving with a closer connection to myself. I am feeling more integrated (than before;), and with friends that I made here which I’m sure we’ll all keep in touch. I feel proud also because I met so many inspiring friends here who inspired me with every single one of their stories.

I’m feeling really really proud because of all the risks I took being here on my own as a single woman. I took myself to London, Dover, Belgium, Amsterdam, Rhine Valley, Munich, Switzerland, Innusbruck, Paris and Dover, Iceland and even to Vietnam.

I really challenged myself to do things that I would be afriad of and I learned a lot. I got engaged. I got married and moved in with the first man that I’ve ever moved in with. I went on a camp for three days with three hundred strangers and left feeling so much less alone and empowered. I showed my art with other amazing artists during important movements to stand up for equality; including Black Lives Matter. I tried to make a go at it at putting my artwork in galleries in the city; and failed but still it was an experience. I’m proud; so proud of myself for everything that I tried these seven years in the US. I hope that I continue to open my eyes to new experiences in the next chapters of my life. I hope that I continue to engage, connect and share moments with inspiring people all over the world.

Growing up; our family because of our financial situation weren’t able to travel much.

I know this changes with the next however many chapters that God lets me stay in this world. I hope that get to experience every single feeling and smell, taste, hear, touch and sit through every single emotion; even stress; the one that I try to deter myself from. To really relish in all the moments and enjoy the next chapters of my life. 


Wynne Leung McIntosh

Caetani Art Residency, British Columbia

The works that I made at the Caetani Center is a visual response to the love from the people that I was so thankful to spend close to two weeks with in Vernon, British Columbia. Thank you for giving, singing and rejoicing your love as it gave me an opportunity to receive it. Now filled, I'm ready to give more to everyone else. Thank you so much. 

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Apartment # 2222

I'm feeling bittersweet tonight....

In a few weeks I will be transitioning into a new chapter of my life. That also means moving out of my current apartment on Market Street. I am really connected and love this place very much. I feel sad to part from her.

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JackKnife Studio - Show Opening Recap

Community. Love. Art. 🌈 Set Free 🌻✌🏻! Here are some snapshots of our getting ready for the show and all the way to the actual opening! I felt so inspired and thankful that day for experiencing what it's like to be in a group show and the exhilirating feeling of love, compassion and community from my classmates and friends.

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The Journey

One day you finally knew
What you had to do, and began,
Though the voices around you
Kept shouting
Their bad advice,
Though the whole house
Began to tremble
And you felt the old tug
At your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
Each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
you knew what you had to do,
Though the wind pried
With its stiff fingers
At the very foundations,
Though their melancholy
Was terrible.
It was already late
Enough, and a wild night,
And the road full of fallen
Branches and stones.
BUt little by little,
As you left their voices behind,
The stars began to burn
Through the sheets of clouds,
And there was a new voice,
Which you slowly
Recognized as your own,
That kept you company
As you strode deeper and deeper
Into the world,
Determined to do
The only thing you could do,
Determined to save
The only life you could save.

- Mary Oliver

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"Oh Hey!"

I was wondering when the paintings for The Inner Voyage would come to and end; and it looks like it was tonight. So, just like clockworks I ate a quick dinner; grabbed the four large canvases got on both knees, unwrapped and stored everything away with glassine...

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Habits, hopes and thoughts

I'm starting to enjoy the daily habits. I have a few of them. For example, I eat the same dinner pretty much everynight if I'm home; it's kale, two eggs, two pieces of bread, one piece of cheese, a cup of tea, and then right before bed I'll have another small meal. These habits are almost meditative. I also do yoga, give thanks, pray and meditate before bed. These are important to me.

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Rhythm of Painting

I observed today that the rhythm of creating is not present when I'm tired and I am often tired after work on the weekdays. I also ate a heavy meal and watched Project Runway Junior (everyone needs and escape and I just love these incredible little humans making beautiful garments). I observed that it helped me feel rested though not inspired.

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In Alignment

I learned from life coaching today to be aware of alignment in all my relationships. In alignment with who I am and what I believe in, today towards the relationships that I have today. Through meditation, it is true that I've begun to see things in less black and white and more of a dark grey and light grey area. I'm thankful for that, because in the past it was very black and white. And this change feels encouraging and hopeful. 

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"As I can"

This painting by Jan Van Eyck, The Arnolfini Portrait showed up in one of the massive books I get from the public library. What caught my eye is the note that the artist placed within the painting, "Als ik kan", which means "As I can"

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Michelle Obama & Oprah

I just finished watching the first lady, Michelle Obama and Oprah's interview tonight at the United States of Women Summit. 

Michelle Obama said when asked about expectations on being the first lady told the audience that she never read about how to be the best first lady; she wanted to get there first; to see how it is and to make sure that she could be the best first lady in the way that she knew how. 

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Art as Practice

I had the idea in the back of my mind; somehow through art making that there are these benchmarks of what the next step should look like. So, somehow I've been functioning on that; that if I sold a piece of artwork that if I got into a number of shows that it would mean that I'm doing this right. So, I've been sub-consciously painting fast and doing things really "fast" thinking that the faster I make; the quicker I'd get to the next level. And all of this, is happening sub-consciously.  

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Doing Nothing

I learned today that I need a clear and balanced mindset as an artist because I spend a lot of time being alone in my head. And without a balanced clear mindset things in there (as you know) can get kind of crazy. Taming the mind is like trying to tame a horse.

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